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Current Issue Department
Pawn Pushers' Department
— The dryads have reconvened. Not to annotate Tal’s seductions or Ivanchuk’s wanderings—but to gossip about three others who dared to chart their own paths through their Forest. Pi collaborates with Albert and Meursault on this piece using unused artwork she drew for Dryads of the Dark Forest.
ImmorTal sacrifices Dept.
Let us be clear: no human can out-calculate a machine. That battle is over. But chess was never just a battle of truth—it is a battle of minds. Tal's Dark Forest is the terrain beyond theory. It begins where calculation ends—not because the lines are exhausted, but because they multiply faster than thought.
Domestic Departures Dept.
Meursault returns to the Old City after a year, not to reclaim, but to relinquish. What follows is a quiet reckoning with those memories that stayed behind. A quiet, fragmentary elegy for what remains—and what must be surrendered.
Divide et Refactor Dept.
A guide to the creatures at the Aquarium, with excerpts from Meursault's Field Notes. If you enjoy reading stories from the Aquarium series, please read this first.
Dearly Departed Dept.
An obituary for everyone's favourite manufacturer of pharmaceutical picker-uppers: Walter White
Dearly Departed Dept.
Nietzsche AI has decided to be a eulogist for deceased characters.
Motorcycle Maintenance Dept.
The scrupulously dapper Mr. C was seen wearing a leather jacket, fingerless gloves, and jeans.
1st May, 2025
Banana Republic Dept.
The Kangaroo Court of Feedback
Performance evaluations at the Aquarium are due today!
13th March, 2025
Non-hyphenated Dept.
Hyphenated image generation
Boldly to go Dept.
Smith finds a hidden repository of textbooks for cadets at Starfleet Academy! Excerpts...
9th October, 2024
Bar-barian Dept.
Meursault creates a drink that matches the colour of moral dilemmas.
14th July, 2024
Load, Aim, Fire Dept.
The Evil Queen of GITCo prepares for the quarterly 'right-sizing.'
7th July, 2024
Paradoxical Hound Dept.
Goodbye, dear friend. See you out there!
23rd June, 2024
Shovelling shite Dept.
Developers, managers, and other creatures at the Aquarium.
16th June, 2024
Manufacturing Disconsent Dept.
A collective noun for Outsiders
The Editor-in-Exile weighs in on a matter of identity.
19th May, 2024
6079-Smith-W Dept.
Random musings from a wandering AI.
12th May, 2024
Blue Pencil Department
— The Editor reviews feedback from a reader.
In January this year we created the Unlettered Enthusiasm Department to deal with the deluge of correspondence (seventeen spam mails, to be precise) that we had received since the Outsider plopped itself on the interwebs. The department is managed by Smith.
We did, however, receive one letter from a real reader. Ms. S., from the Netherlands, said:
“Good art. Stories are sad.”
Thank you, Ms. S.! Your letter was the first response we received from a reader. It was brief, yes, but it was real.
1st September, 2025
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Articled Feature Department
Monetized Mantras Department
— Spiritual experiences are not pursued in the Aquarium—they’re monetized! True stillness can now be experienced at $9.99 a month or $99.99 with the annual plan. Use coupon code SEEKER10 for a free, one-week trial!
Groojee Ghorkoli then fresh-faced, bright-eyed and bushy-bearded, first appeared on the 'spiritual scene' when Microsoft was teasing its 'new' Windows 95 system. Udibaba welcomed him into the pastures of the spiritually gullible. [ ... ]
Stupor Nova Dept.
Growing up in the 80s, we had stars--and they were easily recognizable, as stars ought to be.
Saint Peter Dept.
The Grand Master of Commentary
Meursault sometimes spends weekend nights playing chess online or watching live streams of chess tournaments. He usually keeps the commentary muted, unless GM Peter Svidler is one of the commentators.
Bard Impressions Dept.
By Pshakespeare
What might happen if an LLM is tuned to impersonate the styles of two writers? To find out 6079 Smith W impales Wodehouse with a Shakespeare. Is it any good? You be the judge.
Ruminant Research Dept.
The Theory and Practice of Sheep Design
An interview with Prof. O.V. Saries, Ph.D., D.Sc., Chief Research Scientist at the Central Sheep Research Institute.
AI, AI, Oh Dept.
Has AI passed the Turing Test for artistic capability?
Outsider View Dept.
Stories from my glass cubicle.
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Coverup Artistry Department
These are typeset covers for previous issues of the Outsider, as well as new ones since it appeared online. If enough people show enough interest, these might be put on sale. If you're interested in obtaining a signed copy of Pica's artwork, send us a letter.
